Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Fri Jan 28, 2022 1:45 am

Glenn Schroeder · Mon Jan 31, 2022 12:37 pm

I'm about to get the answer to an age-old question.

I just ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon.

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Tue Feb 01, 2022 7:22 pm

zxys001 · Unread post by **zxys001** » Tue Feb 01, 2022 7:58 pm

Glenn Schroeder wrote: ↑Mon Jan 31, 2022 12:37 pm I'm about to get the answer to an age-old question.

I just ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon.

the_h4mmer · Unread post by **the_h4mmer** » Tue Feb 01, 2022 8:11 pm

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Wed Feb 02, 2022 4:13 pm

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Thu Feb 03, 2022 8:44 am

Jaylin Hochstetler · Thu Feb 03, 2022 5:35 pm

DennisD wrote: ↑Thu Feb 03, 2022 8:44 amimage.png

Looks like someone didn't know how to do math!!!

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Thu Feb 10, 2022 2:08 am

DanPihlaja · Unread post by **DanPihlaja** » Thu Feb 10, 2022 9:49 am

KaMei wrote: ↑Thu Feb 10, 2022 2:08 amDadProgrammer.jpg

I LOVE IT!

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Fri Feb 11, 2022 2:21 am

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Mon Feb 14, 2022 1:45 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Mon Feb 14, 2022 8:08 am

KaMei wrote: ↑Mon Feb 14, 2022 1:45 am

image.png (207.66 KiB) Viewed 8351 times

This should also say "Some assembly required"

SamSpade · Unread post by **SamSpade** » Mon Feb 14, 2022 8:24 am

DennisD wrote: ↑Mon Feb 14, 2022 8:08 am This should also say "Some assembly required"

Also add, 'Wearing it will help prevent Covid'

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Thu Feb 17, 2022 1:58 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Mon Feb 21, 2022 8:59 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Wed Feb 23, 2022 9:07 am

I don't know who I like more, Dylan or Catherine.

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Fri Feb 25, 2022 1:56 am

: Moron.jpg (13.5 KiB) Viewed 8157 times

Ömür Tokman · Fri Feb 25, 2022 2:29 am

I decided that technical drafting was not for me. I will now dedicate myself to art. My first project, waiting for your comments.

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Fri Feb 25, 2022 10:23 am

Not a joke exactly...

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Fri Feb 25, 2022 10:24 am

Ömür Tokman wrote: ↑Fri Feb 25, 2022 2:29 am I decided that technical drafting was not for me. I will now dedicate myself to art. My first project, waiting for your comments.
IMG-20210331-WA0004.jpg

Omur,
You have to let us know which one you drew...

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Fri Feb 25, 2022 10:55 am

mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Fri Feb 25, 2022 10:23 am Not a joke exactly...
image.png

Please excuse me while I go and contribute some quenching medium.

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Fri Feb 25, 2022 12:03 pm

DennisD wrote: ↑Fri Feb 25, 2022 10:55 am Please excuse me while I go and contribute some quenching medium.

You a red head or a goat?

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Fri Feb 25, 2022 12:54 pm

mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Fri Feb 25, 2022 12:03 pm You a red head or a goat?

I'm more of a gray-haired fox!

SamSpade · Unread post by **SamSpade** » Mon Feb 28, 2022 12:56 pm

Who knew that ice could wreak so much havoc on one's health. Well, that's it for me, from now on I will be drinking everything neat.

Glenn Schroeder · Mon Feb 28, 2022 1:40 pm

SamSpade wrote: ↑Mon Feb 28, 2022 12:56 pm DRINK.jpg

Who knew that ice could wreak so much havoc on one's health. Well, that's it for me, from now on I will be drinking everything neat.

That reminds me of the old joke where a teacher got up before the class, trying to teach them a life lesson. He brought out two glasses, with a worm in each. He poured whiskey in one and water in the other. The one in the whiskey promptly died, and the other one was fine.

The teacher said "Class, what have we learned from this?" Little Johnny replied "If you drink whiskey you won't have worms."

Ömür Tokman · Tue Mar 01, 2022 1:02 am

mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Fri Feb 25, 2022 10:24 am Omur,
You have to let us know which one you drew...

this request makes me think I am on the right track. the drawing on the right. It is quite normal to not be able to distinguish such a successful work from the original. I'm glad you realize how talented I am.

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Tue Mar 01, 2022 1:46 am

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Tue Mar 01, 2022 1:49 am

Ömür Tokman wrote: ↑Fri Feb 25, 2022 2:29 am I decided that technical drafting was not for me. I will now dedicate myself to art. My first project, waiting for your comments.
IMG-20210331-WA0004.jpg

If you would be a drummer of a famous rock band you would make millions with your interpretation and people would praise you for your style ...

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Thu Mar 03, 2022 2:11 am

establ · Unread post by **establ** » Fri Mar 04, 2022 3:05 pm

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said,'Things are great and I've never felt better.'

I now have a 30 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.

'So what do you think about that Doc ?'

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.

'I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.'

One day he was setting off to go hunting.

In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.'

'As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.

He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.

Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang.'

Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that ?' asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said, 'Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'

The doctor replied, 'My point exactly.'

SamSpade · Unread post by **SamSpade** » Mon Mar 07, 2022 10:09 am

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Tue Mar 08, 2022 2:05 am

SamSpade wrote: ↑Mon Mar 07, 2022 10:09 amCAR.jpg

Today's price in Berlin, Germany €2,19 for 95 Octane, per litre ...

SamSpade · Unread post by **SamSpade** » Tue Mar 08, 2022 8:27 am

KaMei wrote: ↑Tue Mar 08, 2022 2:05 am Today's price in Berlin, Germany €2,19 for 95 Octane, per litre ...

Now that's no joke.

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Tue Mar 08, 2022 9:40 am

KaMei wrote: ↑Tue Mar 08, 2022 2:05 am Today's price in Berlin, Germany €2,19 for 95 Octane, per litre ...

Just buy an electric car...

Tom G · Unread post by **Tom G** » Tue Mar 08, 2022 9:51 am

If all goes well, I should get my loan approved tomorrow. Then I can go fill up my gas tank. Wish me luck!

My friend with poor credit rating says she's just gonna drive her car until it stops, then abandon it there.

jcapriotti · Unread post by **jcapriotti** » Tue Mar 08, 2022 6:42 pm

KaMei wrote: ↑Tue Mar 08, 2022 2:05 am Today's price in Berlin, Germany €2,19 for 95 Octane, per litre ...

That's only $2.40 US.....now that's cheap. And I thought the EU was more reliant on Russian oil than the US?

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Tue Mar 08, 2022 9:48 pm

jcapriotti wrote: ↑Tue Mar 08, 2022 6:42 pm That's only $2.40 US.....now that's cheap. And I thought the EU was more reliant on Russian oil than the US?

Jason, you only converted the currency, not the volume. 2.19 Euro/liter = $2.38/liter * (3.7854 liter/gallon) = $9.01/gallon

jcapriotti · Unread post by **jcapriotti** » Wed Mar 09, 2022 4:57 pm

DennisD wrote: ↑Tue Mar 08, 2022 9:48 pm Jason, you only converted the currency, not the volume. 2.19 Euro/liter = $2.38/liter * (3.7854 liter/gallon) = $9.01/gallon

Well duh on my part.

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Wed Mar 09, 2022 5:49 pm

Jaylin Hochstetler · Tue Mar 15, 2022 1:09 pm

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Wed Mar 16, 2022 2:56 am

mike miller · Unread post by **mike miller** » Wed Mar 16, 2022 7:35 am

KaMei wrote: ↑Wed Mar 16, 2022 2:56 amNoTurnsToday.jpg

I hope he's heading straight home!

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Fri Mar 18, 2022 3:21 am

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Mon Mar 21, 2022 3:12 am

mike miller · Unread post by **mike miller** » Wed Mar 23, 2022 3:48 pm

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Mon Mar 28, 2022 1:53 am

Tom G · Unread post by **Tom G** » Mon Mar 28, 2022 2:33 pm

DanPihlaja · Unread post by **DanPihlaja** » Mon Mar 28, 2022 2:36 pm

Tom G wrote: ↑Mon Mar 28, 2022 2:33 pm

Apple?

Tom G · Unread post by **Tom G** » Mon Mar 28, 2022 2:44 pm

It's an autocorrected April, I must assume. Written in a tech journalism site, Apple is also a legit topic.