Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 11:49 am

DennisD wrote: ↑Wed Jun 08, 2022 11:30 am

image.png (118.81 KiB) Viewed 7021 times

That's a touching story with a happy ending.

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 2:47 pm

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 5:16 pm

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 7:30 pm

Typical of the media, I wonder how long this has been going on?...

zxys001 · Unread post by **zxys001** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 8:22 pm

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Thu Jun 09, 2022 1:47 am

zxys001 · Unread post by **zxys001** » Thu Jun 09, 2022 11:23 am

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 1:55 am

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 8:09 am

Does he get the $5 difference back when they catch him?

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 11:25 am

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Fri Jun 10, 2022 5:22 pm

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Sat Jun 11, 2022 2:27 pm

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Sat Jun 11, 2022 2:34 pm

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Sun Jun 12, 2022 8:07 pm

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Mon Jun 13, 2022 1:45 am

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Mon Jun 13, 2022 10:54 am

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Tue Jun 14, 2022 1:33 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Tue Jun 14, 2022 10:44 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Fri Jun 17, 2022 12:38 pm

Not that there was any doubt that Dilbert lives. . .

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Fri Jun 17, 2022 12:41 pm

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Sat Jun 18, 2022 10:05 am

jcapriotti · Unread post by **jcapriotti** » Sat Jun 18, 2022 5:28 pm

mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Sat Jun 18, 2022 10:05 amimage.png

Zod and the Krypts?

jcapriotti · Unread post by **jcapriotti** » Sat Jun 18, 2022 5:29 pm

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Sun Jun 19, 2022 8:30 am

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Tue Jun 21, 2022 2:06 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Tue Jun 21, 2022 6:36 am

KaMei wrote: ↑Tue Jun 21, 2022 2:06 amJustPaint.jpg

: image.png (194.16 KiB) Viewed 6552 times

Wow! That's an unbelievable paint job!

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Tue Jun 21, 2022 11:21 am

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Tue Jun 21, 2022 11:22 am

Glenn Schroeder · Tue Jun 21, 2022 11:31 am

mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Tue Jun 21, 2022 11:21 amimage.png

A friend of mine worked at the local livestock auction decades ago when he was in his teens. One day he was working on and they saw a 4-door car in line with all the trucks and trailers. He said they didn't think too much about it, because people would occasionally bring in a baby calf or goat with a car, but when the car got to the head of the line it had a 400 pound calf in the back. I'll never forget him saying "They had so many ropes on it all it could do was bellow and s***, and it was doing plenty of both."

Anyway, they untied the ropes and opened the doors and let it jump out. I'm sure glad I wasn't the one that had to clean the car out afterwards.

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Thu Jun 23, 2022 2:22 am

Ömür Tokman · Thu Jun 23, 2022 2:36 am

In my childhood, we didn't have remote controls in our house yet. The little children of the house used to work as a remote control in those days

The system was quite simple. Our mom or dad used to tell us a channel name. There were only a few TV channels anyway. We would detect the mother/father command sound with our ear sensors and find out which channel it corresponds to in our brain. Then we would change the channel by pressing the button on the TV with our fingers.
Then came the remote controls. We children lost our job where we earned candy and chocolate in return

Because we had succumbed to technology. I hate technology to this day.

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Thu Jun 23, 2022 1:42 pm

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Fri Jun 24, 2022 2:09 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Fri Jun 24, 2022 9:18 am

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Tue Jun 28, 2022 1:55 am

Ömür Tokman · Wed Jun 29, 2022 1:27 am

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KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Wed Jun 29, 2022 2:13 am

Ömür Tokman · Wed Jun 29, 2022 7:57 am

KaMei wrote: ↑Wed Jun 29, 2022 2:13 am ...........

It's nice to know I'm not alone!
When people persistently tried to open the door, I wrote a similar image to the office entrance. Since the boss thought that the 4 warning signs were exaggerated, he had 3 warning signs removed after 2 months. Now there is only one warning sign.
Despite this, the lock was broken 3 times in 1 year.

inscription on the warning sign.
Please don't force the door
Press the bell!

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Sat Jul 02, 2022 10:19 am

Frederick_Law · Wed Jul 06, 2022 1:25 pm

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Tue Jul 12, 2022 9:16 am

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Wed Jul 13, 2022 3:05 am

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Fri Jul 15, 2022 12:43 pm

Contractor forgot the handrail.

mattpeneguy · Unread post by **mattpeneguy** » Fri Jul 15, 2022 12:45 pm

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Mon Jul 18, 2022 2:06 am

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 8:11 pm

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Wed Jul 20, 2022 8:02 am

Well, maybe not to some people.

DennisD · Unread post by **DennisD** » Thu Jul 21, 2022 9:51 am

SamSpade · Unread post by **SamSpade** » Thu Jul 21, 2022 10:21 am

DennisD wrote: ↑Thu Jul 21, 2022 9:51 amimage.png

Sadly, it's been longer than that. The last time Lord Stanley's Cup was celebrated here in Canada was 1993, by my beloved Habs.

KaMei · Unread post by **KaMei** » Fri Jul 22, 2022 1:45 am