Page 7 of 35
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2021 10:56 am
by Roasted By John
mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Wed Jun 16, 2021 9:17 am
Yeah, I've seen expiration dates on honey, too...
Never call your wife, fiancé or girlfriend
"Honey"
One Definition is "Concentrated Sap" (that was replaced by) "Viscid Fluid"
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2021 3:09 am
by KaMei
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:32 am
by Roasted By John
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 am
by DennisD
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2021 8:47 am
by DennisD
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2021 3:48 pm
by SamSpade
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2021 8:34 am
by DennisD
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2021 1:39 am
by KaMei
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2021 8:16 am
by DennisD
- image.png (178.4 KiB) Viewed 7181 times
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2021 9:32 am
by DennisD
Yes, these are SI units. . .
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2021 2:00 am
by KaMei
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2021 12:22 pm
by DennisD
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2021 12:37 pm
by MJuric
mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Wed Jun 16, 2021 9:17 am
Yeah, I've seen expiration dates on honey, too...
Actually honey can expire if it is not sealed properly. Honey is pretty hydroscopic and at some tipping point it becomes able to ferment....so well I guess it doesn't go bad per say, just turns into mead
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2021 12:51 pm
by mattpeneguy
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2021 12:53 pm
by mattpeneguy
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2021 1:30 pm
by DennisD
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2021 8:04 am
by mattpeneguy
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2021 8:05 am
by mattpeneguy
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2021 8:09 am
by DennisD
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2021 8:37 am
by mattpeneguy
DennisD wrote: ↑Fri Jun 25, 2021 8:09 amimage.png
I thought this was the Jokes Thread...That's actually sound advice for stopping itching...
Can't wait until next week with the follow up...
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2021 8:41 am
by mattpeneguy
@DennisD,
Just sent that picture to my wife and her reply was, "Was that from the CDC?"!!!!!
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2021 8:51 am
by DennisD
mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Fri Jun 25, 2021 8:41 am
@DennisD,
Just sent that picture to my wife and her reply was, "Was that from the CDC?"!!!!!
Tell her it was from the AOC.
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Sat Jun 26, 2021 10:04 am
by mattpeneguy
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Sat Jun 26, 2021 10:05 am
by mattpeneguy
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2021 2:21 am
by KaMei
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2021 8:01 am
by mattpeneguy
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2021 8:02 am
by mattpeneguy
Doesn't even need translation....
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2021 8:19 am
by mike miller
Is this something that the CDC is (finally) admitting?
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2021 8:53 am
by DennisD
- image.png (316.65 KiB) Viewed 7015 times
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2021 1:58 am
by KaMei
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2021 7:51 am
by mattpeneguy
Hell no don't delete this from the auto correct
@matt f*** blocks the word f***....
maybe I like ducking better
Interesting, the other day I saw $#!+ is replaced by other characters.
It's one thing to tell us not to curse...it's another to censor us...
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2021 7:53 am
by DennisD
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2021 7:53 am
by DennisD
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2021 8:02 am
by mattpeneguy
KaMei wrote: ↑Tue Jun 29, 2021 1:58 amHardReset.jpg
- image.png (294.03 KiB) Viewed 6981 times
Reminds me...
I bought an iPod years ago and didn't like the way it worked...So, I don't like apple. (There are other reasons, too...don't get me started on Starbucks...)
I was going on about the old one button mouse at work. So I got to work one day and someone swapped my mouse out for one. So, I brought a hammer to work with a label on it that says, "APPLE SERVICING IMPLEMENT". Anytime someone complains about their iPhone or ipod I offer to help fix it.. For whatever reason no one has taken me up on my offer.
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2021 9:07 am
by matt
mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Tue Jun 29, 2021 7:51 am
image.png
Hell no don't delete this from the auto correct @matt effing blocks the word effing....
maybe I like ducking better
Interesting, the other day I saw $#!+ is replaced by other characters.
It's one thing to tell us not to curse...it's another to censor us...
Maybe instead of sarcasm fonts we need a seriously font, and just assume everything not marked is sarcastic. I have a hard time getting old and tone deaf. I can't ban all those words, they're part of my every day dickshunary.
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2021 9:38 am
by Glenn Schroeder
mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Tue Jun 29, 2021 8:02 am
image.png
Reminds me...
I bought an iPod years ago and didn't like the way it worked...So, I don't like apple. (There are other reasons, too...don't get me started on Starbucks...)
I was going on about the old one button mouse at work. So I got to work one day and someone swapped my mouse out for one. So, I brought a hammer to work with a label on it that says, "APPLE SERVICING IMPLEMENT". Anytime someone complains about their iPhone or ipod I offer to help fix it.. For whatever reason no one has taken me up on my offer.
That reminds me of a previous job. The guy I replaced had a radio that apparently got bad reception, or had blown speakers, or something, and sounded terrible. One day one of his co-workers couldn't stand it any more asked the guy if he'd like him to fix it, to which he replied "Yeah, I wish you would."
It was promptly fixed . . . with a 2 x 4.
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2021 1:58 am
by KaMei
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2021 2:39 am
by jayar
Prior to the invention of the crowbar, all crows had to drink at home.
Imagine how happy Barn Owls were when humans first built barns.
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2021 6:43 am
by DennisD
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2021 8:36 am
by DennisD
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2021 8:25 am
by DennisD
July the 4th be with you!
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2021 11:26 am
by mattpeneguy
We've been scratching our heads about how to fit a platform into a tight space...and a coworker left this on my desk, see my comments.:
Here's my second page:
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2021 2:33 pm
by mattpeneguy
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2021 2:35 pm
by mattpeneguy
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2021 3:20 pm
by mike miller
mattpeneguy wrote: ↑Tue Jul 06, 2021 11:26 am
We've been scratching our heads about how to fit a platform into a tight space...and a coworker left this on my desk, see my comments.:
image.png
Here's my second page:
image.png
Thank goodness you used purple ink....
I mean, you could impale someone on those sharp corners.
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2021 2:42 am
by KaMei
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2021 6:55 am
by DennisD
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2021 7:20 am
by Ömür Tokman
KaMei wrote: ↑Wed Jul 07, 2021 2:42 am
1401835125613137922-png__700.jpg
I went to ikea once and decided not to go again. I was nervous. You cannot leave without visiting the entire maza for a shopping that will take 5 minutes in total. It was a nerve wracking experience for me.
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2021 8:19 am
by Glenn Schroeder
Ömür Tokman wrote: ↑Wed Jul 07, 2021 7:20 am
I went to ikea once and decided not to go again. I was nervous. You cannot leave without visiting the entire maza for a shopping that will take 5 minutes in total. It was a nerve wracking experience for me.
I also went to one once. I was with my son and daughter-in-law. I would not return without similar guides. If I went alone I would either never find what I wanted or become lost and wander around for days.
Re: Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)
Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2021 9:07 am
by Roasted By John