Jokes Thread (Keep it Clean)

[DennisD]

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[Roasted By John]

that is "Foal"

[SamSpade]

DAY 403 OF HAND SANITIZER USE.

[Roasted By John]

That's the look on someone's face when they see Chuck Norris

[KaMei]

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[DennisD]

[Tony Tieuli]

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Something has to be done about post's like this! I'm highly insulted!

[DennisD]

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Something has to be done about post's like this! I'm highly insulted!

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[SamSpade]

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Something has to be done about post's like this! I'm highly insulted!

I second that... I feel like I need to fill out one of those reports.

[jcapriotti]

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Can we send to whomever was trolling from DS yesterday?

[mike miller]

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Something has to be done about post's like this! I'm highly insulted!

"posts". No apostrophe.

Sincerely, The Grammar Nazi

[Tony Tieuli]

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Something has to be done about post's like this! I'm highly insulted!

"posts". No apostrophe.

Sincerely, The Grammar Nazi

You know I wondered about that while typing it. Thanks Grammar Nazi!

[KaMei]

[Roasted By John]

Earlier today I mentioned that I need one of these.....

www.adapt-laser.com



Well here is the email I just received -

Hello John,

Thank you for your interest in our technology.

Even if I think it would work, I think the initial investment in the technology would not justify the use for this application.

To clean heavily contaminated grills, you probably would need a mid to high power system in the range of 500-1000W.

The price for a system like that is between $325,000 and $450,000.

You also need to create a safe work area around the equipment to protect anyone else against damage from the laser light. Laser protection curtains and a fume extraction system are needed to complete the system.



I have attached some brochures that will give you an idea of power requirements, size etc.



If you want to look further into this, I am more than happy to assist.



OOOOO MY !!!!

[jcapriotti]

@Roasted By John Hey, its the Tim "The Toolman" Taylor way to do projects..........go big or go home.

[Roasted By John]

@Roasted By John Hey, its the Tim "The Toolman" Taylor way to do projects..........go big or go home.

If you don't wanna run with the BIG DOGS stay on the porch

[mattpeneguy]

Hey guys,
This isn't relevant to this thread, but since it was brought up here:
I think Ryan deserves a pat on the back for going through what he did and how he handled it.
https://r1132100503382-eu1-3dswym.3dexp ... wJc-Z0ls3w

[Glenn Schroeder]

Earlier today I mentioned that I need one of these.....

www.adapt-laser.com



Well here is the email I just received -

Hello John,

Thank you for your interest in our technology.

Even if I think it would work, I think the initial investment in the technology would not justify the use for this application.

To clean heavily contaminated grills, you probably would need a mid to high power system in the range of 500-1000W.

The price for a system like that is between $325,000 and $450,000.

You also need to create a safe work area around the equipment to protect anyone else against damage from the laser light. Laser protection curtains and a fume extraction system are needed to complete the system.



I have attached some brochures that will give you an idea of power requirements, size etc.



If you want to look further into this, I am more than happy to assist.



OOOOO MY !!!!

You should get two, so if one breaks you have a backup.

[KaMei]

[Roasted By John]

[Roasted By John]

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[Roasted By John]

[mike miller]

Looks like John has been mining The Fishwrapper.

[mattpeneguy]

[mattpeneguy]

Working for the highway dept. means I'm qualified to say this fix looks good:

[Glenn Schroeder]

Working for the highway dept. means I'm qualified to say this fix looks good:
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Matt,

We occasionally have to hit a test installation more than once in the same area. In the past we've removed all the broken and cracked concrete and poured fresh. Do you think this method would work instead? It would certainly save a lot of money, and we always have plenty of duct tape on hand.

Glenn

[mattpeneguy]

Working for the highway dept. means I'm qualified to say this fix looks good:
image.png

Matt,

We occasionally have to hit a test installation more than once in the same area. In the past we've removed all the broken and cracked concrete and poured fresh. Do you think this method would work instead? It would certainly save a lot of money, and we always have plenty of duct tape on hand.

Glenn

Yeah, the wasteful engineers up here tend to want to break up concrete and pour in new concrete tying into the rebar...But, clearly duct tape works perfectly fine, pictures don't lie, right?

[jcapriotti]

[We occasionally have to hit a test installation more than once in the same area. In the past we've removed all the broken and cracked concrete and poured fresh. Do you think this method would work instead? It would certainly save a lot of money, and we always have plenty of duct tape on hand.

[Glenn Schroeder]

Working for the highway dept. means I'm qualified to say this fix looks good:
image.png

Matt,

We occasionally have to hit a test installation more than once in the same area. In the past we've removed all the broken and cracked concrete and poured fresh. Do you think this method would work instead? It would certainly save a lot of money, and we always have plenty of duct tape on hand.

Glenn

Yeah, the wasteful engineers up here tend to want to break up concrete and pour in new concrete tying into the rebar...But, clearly duct tape works perfectly fine, pictures don't lie, right?

I sent that picture around to some of the people I work with. One of the young engineers asked if that was gorilla tape. I replied "No. Gorilla tape is only for use with high strength concrete."

[mattpeneguy]

Matt,

We occasionally have to hit a test installation more than once in the same area. In the past we've removed all the broken and cracked concrete and poured fresh. Do you think this method would work instead? It would certainly save a lot of money, and we always have plenty of duct tape on hand.

Glenn

Yeah, the wasteful engineers up here tend to want to break up concrete and pour in new concrete tying into the rebar...But, clearly duct tape works perfectly fine, pictures don't lie, right?

I sent that picture around to some of the people I work with. One of the young engineers asked if that was gorilla tape. I replied "No. Gorilla tape is only for use with high strength concrete."

True! High strength duct tape goes with high strength concrete....
Just like you'd use this type of tape on aircrete:

[mike miller]

@matt , I think the "sarc" function may be broken.

[mattpeneguy]

Since we're discussing fixing things...
Pulled this off of one of our bridges:

Since the crack is only halfway through we figured it's halfway through its design life. So we should be able to get another 30 or 40 years out of it, if we reinstall it, right?

[mike miller]

Ahhh....never mind. Sarc is working again.

[Glenn Schroeder]

Ahhh....never mind. Sarc is working again.

I believe it works just fine when applied according to the directions (or at all).

[jcapriotti]

Since we're discussing fixing things...
Pulled this off of one of our bridges:
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Since the crack is only halfway through we figured it's halfway through its design life. So we should be able to get another 30 or 40 years out of it, if we reinstall it, right?

A little JB Weld should fix that right up

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[mattpeneguy]

Since we're discussing fixing things...
Pulled this off of one of our bridges:
image.png
Since the crack is only halfway through we figured it's halfway through its design life. So we should be able to get another 30 or 40 years out of it, if we reinstall it, right?

A little JB Weld should fix that right up

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And since the OD is now larger, the bolt should be stronger than before! Brilliant!

[KaMei]

[DanPihlaja]

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Wow! I am all of them except 2 I think. LOL

[DennisD]

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Wow! I am all of them except 2 I think. LOL

Rookie!

I'm perfect on that scorecard!

[mike miller]

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Wow! I am all of them except 2 I think. LOL

Rookie!

I'm perfect on that scorecard!

I'm not even a dad and I've got half of them already!

[KaMei]

[mattpeneguy]

[mattpeneguy]

[KaMei]

[mattpeneguy]

[SamSpade]

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You forgot the bleach, the rubber gloves and a hatchet

[KaMei]

[mattpeneguy]

[mattpeneguy]

[SamSpade]